Coping with Scary Thoughts and Postpartum Anxiety
We often get asked, “Is it normal that I am having scary thoughts about my baby?”. We want you to know that you are not alone in having scary thoughts postpartum. It is a very common phenomenon for new mothers postpartum to be overwhelmed with scary thoughts about their little one. At times the scary thoughts can consume our days and nights, haunting us, entering our minds at different times. Often mom who experience the scary thoughts postpartum worry if there is something wrong with them. You might worry why you are having them, if you are the only one and how to stop them. It is also common for new moms postpartum to not only have scary thoughts but have scary images that accompany the thoughts.
What are scary thoughts?
Scary thoughts are thoughts that moms experience postpartum often related to the safety of their baby, postpartum. These thoughts might enter your mind if you are bathing your baby, if your baby is sleeping, even if the baby is believed to be safe, you might have a thought about harm coming to the baby and visualize the harm. It can be overwhelming and frightening when you first experience these thoughts postpartum. In you sleep deprived state, you start to worry if there is something wrong with you, forcing blame on yourself. New moms are often sleep deprived and overwhelmed in those early months postpartum. We know through extensive research, that sleep has a huge impact on our mental well-being, our thought patterns, and even our moods. Decreased sleep has been linked to an increase in negative thoughts and scary thoughts. We also know that a mom’s brain physical changes after having a baby, with certain areas of the brain developing new neural connections and pathways.
It is possible that these scary thoughts might be the response of an over-active protection mechanism – new mom brain are hyper vigilant to threats, worries and possible harm that could come to your baby. No matter the reason, it sometimes doesn’t make it easier when that graphic, horrible thought enters your brain as you are bathing your baby or trying to fall asleep.
What to do if you have scary thoughts about your baby
Having a image or thought of your baby in harm’s way can be overwhelming frightening as a new mom. It can often trigger a spiral of worries and anxieties that you feel you have no control over. Often new Moms might mention the scary thoughts to their partner, only to hear that they do not know what they are talking about- they don’t have scary thoughts. It can leave you feeling alone, isolated and worried for your own mental health. So, what can help?
Many moms have said that they have had to come up with a mantra or phrase to repeat to themselves when a scary thought enters their brain. Some include, “my baby is safe” or, “my baby is healthy”. Repeating that over and over again after a scary thought can be helpful to bring you back to reality. You might also want to replace the scary image that accompanies the scary thought with a memory of your baby being healthy and safe. Try recalling an image of your child when you felt that they were safe and secure. Think of 3 things you can see in that memory that reminds you they are safe. For example, they are breathing, they are smiling, they are in your arms . Next, think of 2 things you could hear in that memory- they are cooing, you can hear their breath. Finally, think of something you can feel that assures you they are safe- you can feel their small belly expanding up as they breath. Recalling this healthy memory can help you when they scary thoughts enter your brain.
What is Postpartum Anxiety?
Very often these scary thoughts can trigger or accompany postpartum anxiety. Postpartum anxiety is when symptoms of anxiety, racing thoughts, inability to sleep thought exhausted, sense of constant worry, occur after having a baby. They can be centered around the baby, or they can feel like they do not have any common thread and just feel like general worries. If you are experiencing scary thoughts or symptoms of anxiety, ask yourself if they are affecting your general day to day functioning. If you find that they are impacting you ability to function in multiple areas of your life, then it might be time to seek help or talk to someone about what you are experiencing for the health and well-being of yourself and your family. No matter how they are impacting your life, it can be really helpful to reach out to someone you trust, maybe a close friend or family member, and share what you are experiencing. It is important to create community and connections after having a baby.
Get Help for Postpartum Anxiety and Scary Thoughts
If you are feeling like you might be experiencing Postpartum Anxiety or scary thoughts and they are impacting your life extensively first find someone you feel you can trust to share your experience. There is no shame in sharing what you are feeling. You are not a bad mother or parent because you are feeling this way. From there, after speaking to your trusted ally, you might reach out for professional help. Reach out to your health care provider or please reach out to us and see if we might be good fit for you in your journey to feeling your self again and getting rid of postpartum worries. We offer a free 20 minute chat. Schedule here.
Counseling in Miami, Florida
The Heard Counseling offers mental health services tailored to meet the needs of parents throughout pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood at our therapy center based in Miami, Florida. Right now, they are offering all their counseling services via online therapy to protect the health of their clients and therapists. In addition to postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression treatment, they also offer birth trauma treatment, anxiety therapy, therapy for dads, therapy for moms, infertility counseling and support, and therapy for women and families who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss. Check out their blog for valuable mental health tips. Contact their counseling office to learn more about the many ways they can help you live well.