Self-care for moms during COVID-19. Suggestions from a Miami therapist.

Being a mom is exhausting. There are always so many demands on us parents that we forget to take time for ourselves. We often hear about the importance of self-care but what really is self-care and why is self-care so important.

The basis of self-care is taking the time to prioritize our needs. We have many different types of needs. We have emotional needs, social needs, physical needs and physiological needs. Our emotional needs might include our partner or close friend listening to us as we share the stress of motherhood. Our social needs might include a face time or socially distanced outdoor meetup with a friend. Physical needs might include a walk outside each day to improve mood. In order to know which self-care might be helpful for you, you want to understand your own needs. Think about things that have been helpful for you in the past to improve your mood and well-being. When was the last time that you remember doing something that really elevated your mood?

Finding time to prioritize our needs as moms can seem even harder during COVID-19. Many kids and children are at home, leaving even less time for ourselves as Moms. Mothers are exhausted. Moms do not have the support system to lean on that they used to because they are taking precautions to keep their family safe. Many children are now at home doing virtual school. Mom life is exhausting. You might find yourself asking, “what can I do to stop mom burnout?” Moms now have to be even more strategic with their time and find ways to meet their needs while at the same time taking care of their children.

 Do Things During Nap Time You Can’t Do When the Children Are Awake

Not all parents still have young children who are taking naps. If you do, make sure that you only do things that you can’t do when the child is awake. If you can do laundry, the dishes, or other things around the house when your child is awake, then do not do them in nap time. If you can’t do work when the baby is awake or you can’t shower when the baby is awake, then make sure you take that time do those tasks. Doing a self-care task during nap time is also something you should prioritize.

In the early months of postpartum, during my child’s nap time, I would make myself a cup of tea, sit in my favorite cozy chair and watch an episode of my favorite show. Its really important for me to have alone time and quiet time, it is one of my needs. So, I took this time to help me recharge and have that time to myself. It really helped me to get through the days of endless feedings, no-sleep and postpartum life.

Another thing that I used to do in my young baby’s nap time is sit outside on the balcony in the Miami sun. If you are able to sit outside, dependent on the weather, please do it. Just being outside can have a huge impact on your mood, especially if the weather is nice.

Find Self-Care Tasks You Can do With Your Children  

During COVID one of the greatest challenges that parents and mothers have experienced is the lack of community and childcare. This means that moms are now spending more time at home with their children, leaving less time alone. If you don’t have time alone then you need to find ways where you can participate in self-care activities while also taking care of your children. A great way I have been able to participate in a self-care activity while also watching my child is going for a walk. This may or may not work depending on the age of your child but I have found that for younger children this can allow you the calm and peace you might need, the exposure to nature can really help improve your mood.

I really enjoy walking the streets of downtown Coral Gables, walking from Books and Books to Passion del Cielo for a latte. Or, exploring the many streets of Coconut Grove, picking up a coffee at Panther coffee and walking through the new CocoWalk. There are also beautiful parks in Pinecrest that you can visit with your child during a beautiful Miami winter day.

Create a Bubble With People You Trust

One of the hardest aspects of COVID on parents has been the lack of support and childcare. Our communities have become nearly none existent as we try to keep our exposure to COVID low. This has had huge detrimental effect on the mental health of moms and dads. Though we want to keep our family safe, it can be physically and mentally exhausting to care for children with little or no support. If you can, find family members or close friends that you trust are also taking similar precautions with COVID to yourself. Establish a bubble with them. Sit down with them and come to an agreement on how you all can depend and support each other during this time. Maybe it is a family that also has children similar to you. Maybe during one weekend evening you can take care of their children and then the following weekend they watch your children, allowing for much needed time alone with your partner. In order for this to be safe and effective, you want to find family or friends that you have strong communication with and that you trust. Keep honest communication with them so that you can all be on the same page to keep everyone safe.

Think of ways that you can enjoy the much needed time with your partner. Maybe you will do an outside activity together, go to the beach at Key Biscayne, or go kayaking in Coconut Grove. Or maybe you pick up a pizza at Mister 01 in Miami Beach and take it to a park in South Beach and enjoy a picnic. 

 The Importance of Self care

Prioritizing self-care is so important as a mother and especially now as we navigate this time during COVID. Therapy can also be an important part of self-care as it can be a huge tool for moms who are struggling with their mental health. If you are feeling that simple self-care tasks are not enough, therapy can help you find the clarity and mental support you need to get back to feeling yourself. Reach out here to take the next step to start counseling with one of our Miami therapists.